Talking, words, using your voice for more than screaming directions before your group wipes. I know, radical thinking here but there are other ways to use your voice.
Many of us suffer from an inability to speak to our family let alone people we just met. First impressions are important when you first meet someone and so today I will be discussing ways to speak in a language that isn’t g33k.
Let’s face it, first impressions are important. When meeting someone new nobody wants to be seen as Gollum. So let’s go over the basics:
Introduce yourself by simply saying “Hi, i’m <insert name>, what’s your name?” All we’re doing here is starting the conversation. Some things to keep in mind though when introducing yourself. Stay about an arms length apart, don’t breathe down their necks. It’s important to make them feel comfortable around you from the get go, people don’t like their personal space immediately invaded.
Make Eye Contact, don’t stare off to your right or left, in fact don’t stare at them like you would a pile of gold either. Make eye contact with them when you talk to them and remember to blink regularly. This will make you appear more confident, even if by now you feel like crawling back into your inner sanctum.
What to talk about, if you’re looking to be friends or hoping to date them you can’t really just go from “Hey my name is..” to “want to go out Friday?”. That’s a little to sudden, and you want to build a connection with them first. When it comes to topics start off with a casual compliment either about them or what they are doing. For example if they are wearing a Starcraft t-shirt or something you can relate to say something complimentary followed up by a question. For example “Awesome t-shirt, what do you play as?” If they aren’t a fellow nerd you can always start off by talking about something casual. If you’ve both been waiting for a bus for awhile start off by asking how long they’ve been there for. The goal is to get some sort of dialogue going between you two.
Not being too overbearing, it’s not a large pile of loot, it’s another person you are dealing with. Keep that in mind when you are talking. You can’t just rush in there guns a’blazin, and at the same time you can’t just turn on stealth mode. Talk about whatever you need to with them but make sure to laugh, make eye contact, and speak clearly. If you need to take a couple deep breaths while they talk to calm yourself down. Things to avoid. Unless, you are at a convention don’t start off by talking about your level 85 paladin or your new deck of cards, save that for after you get to know each other better.
Ending the conversation, every conversation must have it’s end and while it’s important to know when to end it it is far more important to know how to end it with positive results. If you are looking to talk to this person again there is a simple way to do this. Start by saying that it was great to meet them, use their name when you say it. If they say it was nice meeting you too then you can ask them for their number. In practice it should go like this. You: “It was really nice meeting you Sarah” Them: “It was really nice meeting you too Jim” You: “I gotta run, but i would like to see you again , if you’re not doing anything this Friday we could grab lunch.” From there if they are interested you can exchange numbers and continue on your merry way. Now as much as you might want to do not text them for at least a day, it builds up a little mystery and give you time to plan the date out.
Best wishes to you all. Please write me a comment either below or on our facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/RomanticNerd). I’d love to know how this advice helps you. What you do when you meet someone new? What else do you have trouble with?